Monday 19 January 2009

My Girlfriends....

One of the toughest parts of being a military family is not having your family around. You never realize how much your family helps you out until you are thousands of miles away from home and in a situation that forces you to deal with things on your own with the help of the new “family” that God has put in your life.
We have been through several deployments and as everyone knows, no deployment is complete until you have made at least one trip to the ER. God has blessed with amazing friends. I am very particular about who I allow in my life and who I would call a friend. I am cautious and skeptical of most people. My skepticism has had a positive and negative impact on my life. Life can be pretty difficult when you have 3 kids who need to be in 3 different places at the same time; especially when your spouse is deployed and you don’t have someone who you trust to help you with your kids. On the other hand, when I do leave my kids with someone, I know that they are in good hands. I know that whoever I am leaving them with will treat my children right and not let them get away with murder.
I have come to call the few ladies in my life who I consider my friends, my sisters. They are here for me no matter what. Tanya, Michelle, Meg, Heidi, Shannon, & Amy got me through some of the toughest times I have ever had to deal with. I knew that if I ever needed anything, I could call them no matter the time and they would be there for me. I think that is why leaving Fl was so hard for me. Yes you guys moved away, but you were just a phone call away. God answered my prayers by moving us to England because I said that if Tanya and Heidi weren’t going to be there, I didn’t want to be there either. You guys taught me how to be a true friend, and I will always be indebted to you for that.
Tanya, you brought a piece of home to me in Fl. When you were there I was never homesick, because you were a part of home. You also shared your beautiful baby girl with me!
Michelle, you have no idea how much I miss standing outside on our carport talking for hours. Do you remember how funny it was when our husbands and kids kept coming out ever 5 mins to see if we were ok?
Meg, you got my booty moving and built me up when I needed it. You were there for me anytime I needed to talk. You were going through hell and you still managed to make Allen a great birthday dinner.
Heidi, I miss you so much! I miss looking outside and seeing your truck in the drive way. I miss seeing Arik drooling after my girls and telling me he is going to marry them. Thank God I get to see you every time we go home. I guess that is one good thing about the army….
Shannon, you were the best Valentines date ever! Even though I hate that stupid day, you selflessly gave birth to Jack, so that I could have a reason not to hate it! I miss all of the chaos that we caused when we took all of our kids out together. Never a dull moment!
Amy, you brought us all together. You were the glue that held us together and without you we wouldn’t have had our little clique. I miss having hair dying parties and you running outside to jump on the trampoline! Oh wait, you weren’t jumping, you were saving Noah. Every time I think about that I laugh til my tummy hurts.
When we moved to England, I expected this huge welcome wagon that never came. I expected to walk into this amazing squadron with amazing support and it wasn’t there (they are getting a good start on a new spouses group.)
I met a few people, but nobody really bothered to invite us over for dinner or game night. I started to figure out that people don’t really wanna be your friend if you have a big family. It’s kinda like people think “man it would be really great to hang out with you, if only you didn’t have all those kids.” I used to get my feelings hurt, but then I started talking to all of my friends who have 3 or more kids and they all agree. People with 1 or 2 kids are intimidated by people who have more than 3 kids.
In March of last year, God answered my prayers. The Asbury Gang moved in next door. They call themselves a gang because; that’s pretty much what they are. Nick and Melissa were high school sweethearts and they have SEVEN kids! They have 6 boys and in May they finally had a baby girl. We hit it off almost immediately.
They have the same child rearing technique that Allen and I have. They don’t freak out over stupid stuff. They live their life for their kids. Melissa and I always joke that we may look like the welfare queens, but our kids are ALWAYS dressed nice. It drives us crazy to see people who are really well put together and their kids look like trash. They don’t blow their money on drinking and partying. They spend their money on their kids. She is the most amazing budget-er (is that a word?) that I have ever met.
Melissa you gave me a reason to like England. What took you so long to get here?
Military spouses form bonds with women who have completely different backgrounds. We don’t have the option of taking our time and getting to know someone. I don’t know very many people in the real world who can say that their lifetime friends would be there for them, no matter what.
We are on the final leg of this deployment, and I was just thinking about how much God has blessed me. Tonight I just wanted to say thank you to all of my sisters! Even though we don’t talk everyday and we live all over the world, I hope you know how much you mean to me and how much I love all of you!

Sunday 11 January 2009

Happy Birthday Martina!

Tomorrow is January 12th. To most people that is an ordinary day, but to me that is the day that my life changed forever. That was the day that I held my baby girl in my arms for the first time. I can’t believe it was 15 years ago!

Martina was in no way a planned pregnancy and she knows this, she knows that her father and I were teenagers and we tried our best to make it work, but we were just too young. Martina has had a rough life, to say the least. She remembers all of the fighting and yelling and violence. She remembers her father and I splitting up. She had a rough start to her life and she has still managed to blossom into the most amazing 15 year old I have ever had the privilege to meet.

Sometimes when I look at Martina, I just sit and stare at her in awe. My little girl was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy when she was 5 years old. She was supposed to be in a wheel chair by the time she was 12. She wasn't supposed to have a normal life, but she has proved all of those Drs wrong. God has had his hand in every aspect of Martina’s life since the day she was born.

God has used Martina to teach me patience, perseverance, and most of all unconditional love. This young lady loves everyone! She loves people who I think should just be wiped of the face of the earth. When I am ready to lose my mind and go off on someone because their stupidity is more than I can take, she calmly says to me “mom, it isn’t their fault, everybody has a bad day.” When she tells me this I don’t react like I should, I normally say something like, “Martina, stupid people have no place in this world.” I know I haven’t set a very good example to my children, but somehow they have all managed to grow into amazing people.

Martina I am so proud of you and I couldn’t have asked for a better first born. You have grown up with me these past 15 years and although it has sometimes been a bumpy road, you have never lost faith and given up.

I love you!