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Moving to Florida was pretty tough on me. I had never been away from my family and I didn’t know how I would deal with everything. I had no idea how life outside of Tulie would be, and I was scared. I prayed that God would put us in the right house and give us good neighbors. God answered my prayers. The day we moved in we met Michelle and Raidon. Ricky was only three and Rai was 9 months old. Ricky wasn’t really into babies and he asked Michelle point blank “is that the only kid you have?” She laughed and said no she had 2 other boys that were at school. On that day, I met one of my best friends.
After we got all settled in, we started to hang out a little more every day. I so enjoyed our nightly talks on our carport sometimes lasting for hours, with our kids constantly interrupting to see when we would be coming in. Most nights Rai was outside with us, he was such a mama’s boy.
Shortly after our move Allen got word that he would soon deploy. This really freaked me out, how was I supposed to live in a new state, without my husband. Allen told Chris (Michelle’s husband) the night before he was leaving, I think it was after ten at night. Michelle was in the shower and Chris went inside and told her, she immediately got out of the shower threw on some clothes and came over to assure me that they would take care of us.
Michelle, Chris, Austin, Gage and Raidon quickly became our family. They had us over for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I remember on Thanksgiving getting all the papers and planning our shopping strategy for early the next morning. We decided that Chris would stay with all 6 of the kids, while we went out and faced the crowds.
After the New Year the drs. Said that Rai had some sort of blockage in his heart. They said that it is nothing to worry about; they said he needed more tests. They did the tests and ended up taking him to Birmingham. I kept the 2 older boys while they went up there. Then Michelle called one day and told me that Rai had a much more serious problem with his heart and would require open heart surgery.
A few days later he had his surgery and was home less than a week later. I had been trying to prepare all of the kids, trying to tell them what to expect. When Chris and Michelle got home that day, we were all shocked to see Rai walking around. He was a little sore and we joked that he was moving like a little old man, but he was walking around and playing with all of the kids. He was so excited to see them.
He did really well after the surgery, but a few months later he started getting fevers, and just acting like he was in lots of pain. So Chris and Michelle went back to the Drs. to try to find out what was wrong with him. They had so many appointments and nobody could tell them what was wrong. He was admitted to the Children’s hospital in Pensacola several times, but never with a diagnosis. One dr. would say one thing and another would say something else. He would be fine some days and others he was just so sick. Nobody knew what was wrong with him. Eventually the drs. said that they thought it was Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. With this diagnosis the Air Force decided that Rai needed to be near a good hospital that could provide the treatment that he needed. They got orders to McChrord AFB in Washington State. I knew that they needed to leave, but I was so sad. These people were our family. We spent all of our holidays together.
Our kids got along great. I have noticed that it is very hard to find a family that everyone in your family gets along with. Our husbands were good friends, I remember Michelle and me going to the movies or shopping and coming home and the kids telling us that daddy and Chris broke the fence playing baseketball (hitting a basketball with a bat.) I remember Michelle’s boys telling her that Mr. Allen and daddy bet that they couldn’t jump from the roof to the trampoline. These were just a few of the mischievous things that our husbands did with our children while we were out on our dates.
After they left we didn’t talk as much, maybe once a month, but we stayed in contact. When we would talk Michelle would tell me how Rai was doing. Sometimes he was doing great, others he was having more problems.
Then last month I got an email from Michelle, telling me that she was in Seattle at the Children’s hospital with Rai and that he was really sick. She said that they almost lost him once. I called daily for a couple of weeks and then went to every couple of days. Then last week I talked to her and she said that he was doing much better. He was moved out of ICU and may be getting his feeding tube removed in the next couple of days. We were all so happy.
Then yesterday I got an email and the title was “video or our Rai” I opened it and immediately started to download it. I didn’t read the message I just wanted to see how he was. After I watched it I started to read what she wrote, and the room started spinning. I couldn’t comprehend what I was reading. It said something like this video was taken on Monday, he was happy that day. Then the next sentence said that Rai is not hurting anymore, he is in heaven. I couldn’t comprehend what I was reading. Allen was right there with me. I asked him what does this mean and he told me that Rai is gone.
My heart broke for Michelle, Chris and the boys. Rai has been there whole world for the last 5 years and how are they going to go on. We had to tell our kids, but how do you tell them that all of their prayers have not been answered? How do I look at my son and tell him that the little boy that he prayed for everyday was gone?
I called Michelle, and we talked for a little while, but what do I say? What do you tell someone who just lost their child? I’m sorry seems like such a stupid thing. I bought a card to send but even that seems stupid. How can a piece of paper offer any type of comfort?
I am writing this to ask all of my friends and family to please pray for Chris, Michelle, Austin and Gage as they go through this horrible time. Please also pray for everyone who knew and loved this amazing five year old little boy. Ask God to send comfort, and understanding to their family and last but not least please ask God that he keep their family together. I have read over and over that most marriages don’t make it through such an incredible loss. I am praying that they make it and somehow, someway they find comfort.
After we got all settled in, we started to hang out a little more every day. I so enjoyed our nightly talks on our carport sometimes lasting for hours, with our kids constantly interrupting to see when we would be coming in. Most nights Rai was outside with us, he was such a mama’s boy.
Shortly after our move Allen got word that he would soon deploy. This really freaked me out, how was I supposed to live in a new state, without my husband. Allen told Chris (Michelle’s husband) the night before he was leaving, I think it was after ten at night. Michelle was in the shower and Chris went inside and told her, she immediately got out of the shower threw on some clothes and came over to assure me that they would take care of us.
Michelle, Chris, Austin, Gage and Raidon quickly became our family. They had us over for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I remember on Thanksgiving getting all the papers and planning our shopping strategy for early the next morning. We decided that Chris would stay with all 6 of the kids, while we went out and faced the crowds.
After the New Year the drs. Said that Rai had some sort of blockage in his heart. They said that it is nothing to worry about; they said he needed more tests. They did the tests and ended up taking him to Birmingham. I kept the 2 older boys while they went up there. Then Michelle called one day and told me that Rai had a much more serious problem with his heart and would require open heart surgery.
A few days later he had his surgery and was home less than a week later. I had been trying to prepare all of the kids, trying to tell them what to expect. When Chris and Michelle got home that day, we were all shocked to see Rai walking around. He was a little sore and we joked that he was moving like a little old man, but he was walking around and playing with all of the kids. He was so excited to see them.
He did really well after the surgery, but a few months later he started getting fevers, and just acting like he was in lots of pain. So Chris and Michelle went back to the Drs. to try to find out what was wrong with him. They had so many appointments and nobody could tell them what was wrong. He was admitted to the Children’s hospital in Pensacola several times, but never with a diagnosis. One dr. would say one thing and another would say something else. He would be fine some days and others he was just so sick. Nobody knew what was wrong with him. Eventually the drs. said that they thought it was Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. With this diagnosis the Air Force decided that Rai needed to be near a good hospital that could provide the treatment that he needed. They got orders to McChrord AFB in Washington State. I knew that they needed to leave, but I was so sad. These people were our family. We spent all of our holidays together.
Our kids got along great. I have noticed that it is very hard to find a family that everyone in your family gets along with. Our husbands were good friends, I remember Michelle and me going to the movies or shopping and coming home and the kids telling us that daddy and Chris broke the fence playing baseketball (hitting a basketball with a bat.) I remember Michelle’s boys telling her that Mr. Allen and daddy bet that they couldn’t jump from the roof to the trampoline. These were just a few of the mischievous things that our husbands did with our children while we were out on our dates.
After they left we didn’t talk as much, maybe once a month, but we stayed in contact. When we would talk Michelle would tell me how Rai was doing. Sometimes he was doing great, others he was having more problems.
Then last month I got an email from Michelle, telling me that she was in Seattle at the Children’s hospital with Rai and that he was really sick. She said that they almost lost him once. I called daily for a couple of weeks and then went to every couple of days. Then last week I talked to her and she said that he was doing much better. He was moved out of ICU and may be getting his feeding tube removed in the next couple of days. We were all so happy.
Then yesterday I got an email and the title was “video or our Rai” I opened it and immediately started to download it. I didn’t read the message I just wanted to see how he was. After I watched it I started to read what she wrote, and the room started spinning. I couldn’t comprehend what I was reading. It said something like this video was taken on Monday, he was happy that day. Then the next sentence said that Rai is not hurting anymore, he is in heaven. I couldn’t comprehend what I was reading. Allen was right there with me. I asked him what does this mean and he told me that Rai is gone.
My heart broke for Michelle, Chris and the boys. Rai has been there whole world for the last 5 years and how are they going to go on. We had to tell our kids, but how do you tell them that all of their prayers have not been answered? How do I look at my son and tell him that the little boy that he prayed for everyday was gone?
I called Michelle, and we talked for a little while, but what do I say? What do you tell someone who just lost their child? I’m sorry seems like such a stupid thing. I bought a card to send but even that seems stupid. How can a piece of paper offer any type of comfort?
I am writing this to ask all of my friends and family to please pray for Chris, Michelle, Austin and Gage as they go through this horrible time. Please also pray for everyone who knew and loved this amazing five year old little boy. Ask God to send comfort, and understanding to their family and last but not least please ask God that he keep their family together. I have read over and over that most marriages don’t make it through such an incredible loss. I am praying that they make it and somehow, someway they find comfort.
Goodnight Rai, sleep well. We love you!
2 comments:
I understand what you mean about feeling that I'm sorry sounds stupid in this circumstance. I wiil say a prayer for them. It is coming up on the 2nd anniversary of Lakyn, my daughter's best friend. Not only did Meaghan loose a friend my husband and I did as well. We were always all together until Lakyn died. Another friend of mine said it must be too painful for them. Meaghan and Lakyn started "hanging out" before they were 6 mths old. She had headaches and was diagnosed one day with a brain tumor and was gone 2 days later. They disconnected her life support the day after her 13th birthday. It was a terrible time. They still struggle everyday.
I will put your friend and her family in with many others to say a prayer for.
You are right that there is nothing you can say that will help. Just say it anyway. Too many people don't know what to say and become uncomfortable about saying anything. Just tell her you love her and her family and that will probably be the best thing you can say for now. She will need to talk for a very long time after this and knowing that you will be there to listen will be a great gift for her.
Their family will be in my prayers as are you and yours.
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